We often refer to the premenstrual phase of the cycle as ‘Big School’. The powers of the inner autumn are very grown-up, they take a lot of responsibility to wield well. But luckily, we get lots of years to practise before menopause!
(Note: if you’re someone who experiences a great amount of premenstrual suffering, please go back and read, or reread, last week’s article where we dignify other powers of the premenstruum. Over years of teaching this, we’ve seen that a large part of our inner autumn suffering can be alleviated by contextualising our experience, and honouring the disintegration of this phase - especially when we live in a world that denies the power of the inner autumn).
So, how do we wake these powers up ever more in our life? It all begins with presence. It's our presence with premenstrual disturbance, powerlessness, disruption, hurt and pain that transforms it into power.
This runs so counter to our conditioning, and even our instincts as humans. We avoid pain, by dissociating or separating in order to not feel it. We have an innocent impulse to stay away from strong feelings.
But, when we practise cycle awareness and bring attention to it, the inner autumn has the capacity to alchemise powerlessness, victimhood, and unconsciousness into responsibility, self awareness, self discipline.
This kind of presence helps us to take our own side, listen for our own needs, and lay down the boundaries we need to really stand in our authority and be wise with our power. Here are some ideas to support your quest for more premenstrual presence:
One: Receive the affirming powers of menstruation
We have the opportunity to receive a kind of ‘goodness reminder’ each time we bleed. An inner post-it note from life reminding us of who we are and what we’re about. I (Alexandra) remember it so fondly, every month I would dock back into myself – it was so bloody sweet, especially because I used to carry a great deal of shame. Each bleed I felt like I was being plugged back into my wholeness and goodness.
This kind of menstrual ‘mother hug’ fills up our emotional tanks, so that we can come to the ‘big school’ of inner autumn with some resilience in our systems. Without this, the vulnerability in the premenstruum can be overwhelming and all consuming. So, if you’re struggling in inner autumn, see how you can take your menstrual rest practice up a gear - and remember, even a 1% shift can have a big impact.
Two: Lean into your vulnerability
The premenstrual phase of the cycle is a great ego undoing, you are exposed to the elements of who you are, and to whatever is happening in the world around you. This - understandably! - can trigger our defences, and our first line of defence is the inner critic.
We can focus on blame, and attacking others to defend ourselves against the world, but we can also turn the inner critic on ourselves. And boy, can this self-criticism become a prolific and painful feature of the inner autumn.
If we can catch these moments, cultivate curiosity about what you're actually feeling vulnerable about and practise the self-discipline of staying with the vulnerability underneath the criticism, it can help us find our place of self responsibility in any given situation - a place of real power.
(A listening partnership can be a great way of cultivating this kind of curiosity around our vulnerability. If you’re looking for a cycle awareness listening partner, consider joining our new self-paced Cycle Power course, many participants share that their listening partnerships are one of the lasting gifts of our programmes).
Three: Learn how to hold the tension
We imagine you’ve heard us talk a lot about ‘holding the tension’ - but what do we actually mean by it? We are pointing to the art of staying with what is actually happening, of being with yourself in the moment, even as it may be very uncomfortable.
As we mentioned at the beginning, it is exactly this kind of presence that awakens premenstrual power. The very act of staying present with our experience can open up a new space of awareness and understanding, allowing new insight and possibility. We are learning to let ourselves be evolved by the inner autumn, rather than dig ourselves deeper into old stories.
Holding the tension gives us a gateway into a fresh experience and energy. Instead of choosing the past, and how we have always been, we can choose to lean into the present, and the fresh possibilities available to us.
If you’re struggling with inner autumn; finding yourself triggered, combative, destructive and just downright furious, we invite you to join us for Cycle Power. In the inner autumn week we explore the cyclical self care practice that can unlock the inner autumn powers of heightened intuition, instinctual knowing, discernment and grounded authority.
