There’s something I find very unhelpful (and annoying) about the word ‘perimenopause’, particularly as I’m now in my late 40’s.
It’s not a word that I use, and here’s why:
1. The term creates confusion and disorientation because it’s being used to describe both the gradual hormonal shifts that begin in your late thirties and all the years spanning the menopause transition itself. Perimenopause and Menopause are being used interchangeably. When in fact they are two different (albeit it interconnected) life phases and developmental processes. These two life seasons are the ‘autumn of your menstruating years’ followed by the ‘inner winter of menopause’. And each has its own particular inner challenges and powers which deserve to be met, respected and cultivated.
I think that medical terminology has utterly misrepresented the inner experience we have. Menopause is not a one day affair! It is a multiyear transition that peaks towards the end of your menstruating years and carries you into post menopause life. At Red School, when we use the word menopause we are referring to this psycho spiritual transition that spans 2 - 5 years.
2. The term perimenopause is synonymous with symptoms and suffering. Much like the term PMS refers to the symptoms of the premenstrual phase. But both the premenstruum and this pre menopause phase are about way more than symptoms. In fact, we believe that the symptoms that surface are in part, a result from the fallout of the loss of cyclical life overall.
When we understand that we need to adapt and change as we move through this life season—honouring our changing needs, capacity and body—we reduce stress because we are no longer fighting against this cycle of change. I’ve noticed how I can’t metabolise stress in the way I used to and when I don’t respect the boundaries of my capacity now I pay the price physically and emotionally.
Rather than seeing symptoms in my 40’s as inevitable… I like to meet any mental or physical health challenges that arise as a sign to slow down, take better care of myself and honour my cyclical rhythms - both through menstrual cycle awareness and by acknowledging the season of life I am currently in.
3. The label of perimenopause puts me into a ‘menopause mindset’ before my time. I’m committed to staying present to what is unfolding within me and in my life NOW. Because this time in my menstruating life is sacrosanct and I want to savour it and fulfil it before entering menopause. Rather than feel like I’m sitting in a holding room waiting for menopause.
Part of the loss of cyclical living is a culture that is always running towards (or fighting off!) the next thing. Menstrual Cycle Awareness has taught me that our power lies in connecting with the place we are in, in ourselves and our lives RIGHT NOW. And that the future emerges organically (and wholesomely) out of this place. The autumn of our menstruating years will prepare us on every level for the invitation of menopause if we listen and respond to how our needs and bodies are changing NOW.
